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           EVERYTHING I'VE EVER LEARNED, I'VE LEARNED FROM STAR WARS
                              By Simon H. Lee
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1. Never trust men in dark helmets.

2. It  really  isn't  necessary  to  be  fluent  in  over  6 million forms of
   communication.

3. When all else fails....jump!

4. Before kissing ANYBODY, make sure they're not related to you.

5. Sometimes, you've just gotta do something that seems totally suicidal.

6. If you are a young hero, nothing can kill you.

7. Always  check the background of people you want to get intimately involved
   with, they may be your relatives.

8. You may have family members in surprisingly high positions.

9. Before you kill someone make sure they aren't your father.

9a. ...and be sure to teach your children proper English.

10. Watch out for Corellian freighters diving out of the sun.

11. Know the difference between power socket and a computer terminal.

12. THIS one goes there, and THAT one goes there!

13. No  matter  how tasty that hunk of meat looks on that pole on that forest
    moon,  don't  grab it; it's probably a trap.  (Or:  when you see a piece of
    dead meat impaled on a stake in the woods, LEAVE IT!!!!!!!!!)

14. Cute, cuddly, widdle teddy bears usually will eat you alive unless you can
    prove you're a god.

15. Never stand on a trapdoor leading to a Rancor pit.

16. No disintegrations.

17. Fire on a rebel base *before* they blow up your space station.

18. Don't  assume  a  senior citizen is weak and frail; they may zap you with
    lightning bolts.

19. Never, never, never underestimate the power of the Dark Side.

20. You  will  find  many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own
    point of view.

21. No  matter  how  deeply one falls into darkness, there is always hope for
    redemption.

22. Just when you think there is no more hope, alas, there is one more.

23. Never judge a "piece of junk" spaceship from the outside.  More often than
    not, "she's got it where it counts."

24. Beware  of judging someone else's beliefs as just a "hokey religion." You
    just may end up eating those words.

25. Never buy anything from a short, hooded, smelly guy.

26. It's never my fault.

27. Never judge anything by its size.

28. There are those who are less forgiving than Darth Vader.

29. It's not a lie, it's just someone else's point of view.

30. Always let a Wookie win.

31. Never cast your lightsaber away, you just might need it.

32. It not a good idea to follow up on a vision while meditating.

33. Nothing is ever to small to get away from you. (R2 in ANH)

34. Whining about something never helps. (Tosche Station in ANH)

35. Taking your droids to a bar will only arouse suspision. (ANH)

36. Don't leave your food out for others to eat. (ROTJ)

37. Don't  attempt to handcuff someone larger than you.  (Chewie in ANH) (Or:
    NEVER  try  to  put  binders on someone who is 7'2", big, furry and has big
    teeth!!!)

38. It is not always neccessary to ignore the annoying. (3PO in ESB)

39. Always pay off your debts in a hurry.

40. If  your  in  it just for the money, you might blow your chances with the
    princess.

41. It is pointless to argue with family members. (Owen in ANH)

42. In  negotiations,  a  thermal detonator can come in handy.  (Or:  Thermal
    detonators  make  bargaining so much easier; you usually get what you want.
    (Never argue with some one who's holding a thermal detonator!) Always carry
    a thermal detonator when bargaining with a Hutt.)

43. Be cautious of "friends" offering refreshments.

44. If some yells out "It's a trap!" then believe them.

45. DON'T go in no CAVES!

46. Watch your hands when swordfighting.

47. Short green guys with big ears can be more than they seem.

48. Wading  around  in  a  pool  of  garbage is infinitely more preferable to
    getting killed.

49. Electricity really *hurts*.

50. The most important part of your spaceship is the hyperdrive.

51. Maybe we SHOULD listen to the protocol droid just this once...

52. Pay your debts on time, you can't always kill the bill collector.

53. Walk in single file to hide your numbers.

54. When  buying used appliances make sure they've been totally mind wiped...
    er...  reconditioned.

55. When  wearing  stormtrooper  armor,  remember  to  make  sure  the door's
    completely open before going through it.

56. Trust yourself.

57. Never tell someone the odds!

58. Never allow yourself to become as clumsy as you are stupid.

59. Always accept apologies.

60. When offered promotion under duress, it might be wise to make like a tree
    and get outta there!

61. Never trust a spokesman for an alcoholic malt beverage.  (Or:  Don't trust
    people who appear in Colt .45 commercials.  Or:  NEVER accept an invitation
    to  have  a  drink  or  eat  with  MR.   Colt  45 himself--it may just be a
    setup.)

62. Hokey religions just might be a good substitute for a blaster at your
    side.

63. Never let your friend know if you're having problems with your droid.

64. Never assume that carbonating someone is "all too easy".

65. Never tell strange creatures in a bar that you'll be careful.

66. Just when you think you're ready, you hit your head.

67. When  you  protest  about  the  terms of an agreement, the terms might be
    altered further.

68. You never know what a day is gonna bring....

69. After  spending  several  months  in  deep-frost,  your  vision  will  be
    blurry.

70. When in doubt, follow the garbage.

71. Size matters not (now there's one you can use in real life!)

72. Never underestimate a teddy-bear

73. "Try not.  Do or do not.  There is no try."

74. "Mind what you have learned, save you it can."

75. Even if it's a great shot, don't get cocky.

76. Don't  intimidate, annoy, or otherwise attack any kind of old man, or his
    friends, who has what appears to be a flashlight hanging from his waist.

77. Never build a secret base in cold, arctic regions.

78. Be prepared for things to go wrong.

79. Never let a protocol droid try to fix your ship!!!!

80. Never trust a strange computer.

81. You'll always have a bad feeling about somethiing.

82. Don't park in asteroids.

83. Bacta cures all.

84. Don't try to make friends via the Death Star com-link (Han Solo only)

85. Never proclaim your "moment of triumph" before it actually happens

86. If "the Force is strong in this one" and you're not, BACK OFF!

87. The targeting computer is really a worthless piece of junk compared to the
    Force.

88. The Dark Side is never irrevocable. (ask Darth, Mara, and Kyp)

89. Never say "watch this" when dealing with a hyperdrive.

90. When  bragging about how fast your car is, tell how many "kilometers" you
    did the DC run in.....

91. Always  change  the  negative  power  coupling before going on long space
    voyages.

92. Remember to TURN ON YOUR COMLINK!!!!

93. Don't  shoot  out  the  controls  to a bridge BEFORE you cross the bridge
    (stupid farm boy!!!!!!)

94. Make sure to tell your lover that you have a brother first.

95. Never  tell  a teacher who's been teaching for 800 years who to teach and
    who not to teach.

96. "It's not my fault!!!"

97. Don't ever fake left, you'll lose a hand.

98. If  you  want  to  keep  your  friends  warm,  shove  them  inside a dead
    animal!!

99. Never  leave  tools  hanging  over  a  friends  head  unless  the ship is
    parked.

100. If  a  droid  sneaks  up  on you while you're kissing a princess, ignore
     him.

101. When  parking  your  spaceship, make sure you aren't in the stomach of a
     huge worm-like monster.

102. If all else fails, angle the deflector shields.

103. Never buy droids.

104. If you ever buy droids, make sure they have a good motivator.

105. If a R2 unit proves to have a bad motivator, do not buy another one.

106. If you really have to buy one, then do NOT remove his restraining bolt.

107. If, in spite of all that, you have removed the restraining bolt, then you
     will  have  to  learn  the  ways  of the Force and become a Jedi like your
     father.  (even if you only wanted to be a mere space pilot)

108. Guys in black are bad guys.

109. Guys  in  white  can  also  be  bad  guys (in this case, they are called
     stormtroopers).

110. Beware of transparent or holographic persons, they will always cause you
     trouble  ("This  droid must be safely delivered to Alderaan", "You will go
     to  the  Dagobah  system",  "The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi")

111. Watch out for those trees.

112. After  toppling an altrustic democracy, seizing control of the military,
     and  establishing yourself as supreme dictator, it's a good idea to invest
     in helmets that your troops can see through.

113. Always duck after throwing someone down a ventilation shaft.

114. If  you  run  a  military academy, go over how to deal with small, furry
     opponents.

115. Don't jump down garbage chutes.

116. If  your  father's  clothes  creak  when  he walks, be diplomatic in his
     presence.

117. If you've "always know" that she's your sister, you should really try not
     to touch her like that.  For that matter, don't French your brother.

118. Don't  engage  in physical displays of affection with tall, hairy people
     who could rip you limb from limb and who get over-enthusiastic.

119. The hard part of a jail-break is getting out; plan for it.

120. Always  look for trap doors when consulting with a crime lord in his own
     house.

121. Whining about power converters makes you look like an idiot.

122. Don't buy used machinery from people dressed in rags, you never know who
     might come looking for it.

123. Don't  trust  people  who  brag  about  the speed of their vehicle to be
     subtle, and don't trust them with your sister, either.

124. NEVER do a Christmas special.

125. If  you  teach  out  of a swamp, you can't expect too much in the way of
     tuition.

126. People  who  are  "more  machine now than human, evil and twisted" set a
     pretty sparse table.

127. If  you're idea of penetrating the enemy's defenses is allowing yourself
     to  be  captured  and attacking during your execution, you should probably
     seek the advice of someone who's survived longer.

128. If  somebody  cuts your hand off, don't trust him to betray his boss for
     you.

129. Young men should be wary of getting involved with crazy, old hermits who
     like to be called "Master."

130. Dead animals usually smell worse on the INSIDE

131. If you find Banthas, don't stick around to see where their riders are.

132. Cold weather can cause one to hallucinate.

133. Don't go chasing falling meteors.

134. Make sure you always see where your enemies hands are (Greedo in ANH)

135. Blowing on a torch will not put it out.

136. Don't stick around to watch a fight.

137. Droids don't taste good.

138. Don't  use  technology  you  don't  understand  (Ewoks w/ AT-ST, speeder
     bike).

139. No matter how protected you are, falling rocks will still hurt.

140. When  following  a  roguish  space  pirate  into  the  east corridor (or
     wherever), step onto a plank when he stops to listen to you so you'll be a
     little taller.

141. Keep the Mynocks off the power cables and everything will be fine.

142. Never trust strangers to fix the hyperdrive on your freighter.

143. Never assume that ship you just tractored into your space station is
     empty, just because your sensors say so.

144. When  the people around you are getting shot, it's usually an indication
     that the guys shooting are bad guys.  (take a look at the reactions of the
     troopers in the cell bay in ANH)

145. Never  try  to  rationalize strategy with an Ewok.  Next thing you know,
     they'll steal a speeder bike.  Sure, it distracts the guards, but it takes
     away from you sneaking in real quiet-like.

146. Never  chain  a  Rebel  to  you and then take your eyes off her; she may
     throttle you.

147. Aim  your  crippled  fighter  at  the  nearest  Super  Star  Destroyer's
     bridge.

148. Never  assume  responsibility  if it means you're likely to be choked to
     death.

149. That  green  glop  your  aunt  serves  you  at  dinner  is good for you.
     (ANH)

150. Don't talk to strangers in a dark room:  they may have blasters, and are
     looking to not be found (ESB).

151. Pray  Lord  Vader  doesn't alter a deal any further than he already has.
     Chances are he will, but arguing is a good way to get you killed.

152. When someone tells you you're walking into a trap...  believe them.

153. When  your  Tauntaun  smells  something,  it's  usually  a  good time to
     high-tail it outta there.

154. Always  convince  your  astromech  droid to not try to restraining green
     senior  citizens  with  big ears; they may start banging on you with their
     Gimer stick.

155. When  someone says they knew your father was a great warrior, it usually
     means something important.  Take notice:  they just gave you one hell of a
     big hint about who they are.  (sheesh, these farmboys today...)

156. Always allow your opponent to cut you down if it means making things more
     dramatic.

157. When  the guy from 156 gets cut down, try not to stand around screaming.
     Try blasting something...  like a door.

158. Don't  turn  your  back  on  the  parent  of the kid you're zapping with
     lightning bolts.

159. If  the  guy  you  love announces he's leaving, don't say something like
     "That's right."

160. Make  sure  you  aren't so fat you can't get away from an exploding Sail
     Barge.

161. If  your  translator  droid  pisses  you  off,  just  plug  him into the
     hyperdrive.  Either that or just shut him off.

162.  Try not to fly side-by-side when flying through a narrow passage.  (ANH &
      ESB)

163. If  you've  got a malfunction you can't do much good to anyone, so clear
     out of the attack on that giant space station.

164. When someone tells you to eject, it's probably a good idea.

165. Never  try  to blast a garbage compactor's walls---they are magnetically
     sealed!!!!!

166. I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie!!!

167. Don't ever leave without giving a goodbye kiss!!!!!

168. If someone tries to roast you over an open fire--try to blow it out.

169. Let go of your conscious self and rely on instinct!!!!

170. The target area is ONLY two meters wide!!!!!

171. Pay off your debts ASAP.

172. Never  underestimate  the  powers  of  any  Jedi  (or the Force for that
     matter).

173. (Corollary to 172) If a Jedi offers you a bargain, TAKE IT!!

174. You shouldn't always listen to your parents.

175. When  having  your  hyperdrive fixed, you should always check it to make
     sure the work has actually been done.

176. Sometimes it is smart to listen to little green Muppets.

177. You really should fire on lifepods whether there are signs of life or not
     (to stormtroopers only).

178. When  a  Hutt  tells  you that your Jedi mind tricks won't work, believe
     him.

179. When  you  say  that you are "ready for anything," actually be ready for
     anything (like two guys trying to pick a fight).

180. If  your  ship  is  bigger  than a city, don't bring it into an asteroid
     field.

181. Don't give into your anger.

182. Grasping at your throat will not stop the choking.

183. Freezing people in liquid carbonite makes a good wall decoration.

184. Never torture a power droid...

185. You  should  always have a co-pilot that speaks a language that only you
     understand.

186. Don't taunt those on the Dark Side of the Force.

187. Sometimes it is better not to apologize or take the blame.

188. Make sure that you can see clearly before firing a blaster.

189. When  pulled  over  by  "the man", simply say, you don't need to see his
     identification.   These aren't the droids you're looking for.  Move along.
     It works everytime, I guarantee it!!!

190. If you ever build a throne room, NEVER put a great big shaft leading to a
     big nuclear reactor right in the center of the room.

191. Never make your droids OR your sister do your dirty work!!!

192. It is not wise to upset a Wookiee.

193. "A  party  of  two  can  be  very  effective  in chasing down a squad of
     stormtroopers."

194. When you are told to close the blast doors, DON'T DO IT!

195. "Away put your weapon, I mean you no harm."

196. When  rescuing someone formulate an escape plan _before_ you attempt the
     rescue.

197. No  reward is worth rescuing a girl, princess or not, who leads you into
     garbage and calls your best friend and first mate a "walking carpet".

198. Never trust anyone when they say, "The hyperdrive is fixed!"

199. If you have the money, stop telling Jabba and just pay him.

200. Never accept a job that reports directly to Darth Vader.

201. Armor just makes you easier to hit.

202. Get in that chute, flyboy!

203. Buying someone a drink won't stop them from trying to fight you.

204. Don't judge someone by their bad grammer.

205. An entire planet could have only one climate (Tatooine, Hoth, Endor).

206. Beware of tremors in the Force.

207. Protocol droids are lousy story tellers.

208. Apparently one human would be able to feed an entire tribe of Ewoks.

209. It's difficult to send a clear transmission in an asteroid field.

210. When travelling at intense speeds, don't turn around an look behind you.

211. A lightsaber can cut through anything (from Taun-taun to AT-AT).

212. The Force can influence the weak-minded.

213. The handle of a lightsaber looks an awful lot like a flashlight.

214. Even in a galaxy far, far away... Tupperware is still being used. (ANH)

215. Try not to get caught under the legs of an AT-AT.

216. Imperial probe droids have a self destruct mechanism.

217. If you do not believe, you will always fail.

218. Tennis shoes make great fighting ships. (ROTJ)

219. Stormtroopers seem to have inferior training and armor.

220. Everything has a weakness, it's just a matter of exploiting it:

     Emperor - overconfident
     Luke - friends
     Death Star - thermal exhaust port
     Stormtroppers - Ewoks
     Star Destoyers - bridge deflector shields
     Darth Vader - compasion for his kids
     Leia - smugglers
     Chewie - dead animals hanging from trees
     Threepio - frail body

221. Bottom  line,  the first time you fight your father, he IS going to kick
     your sorry ass.

222. When  flying  objects  come  at  you  from  behind,  for  Pete's  sake,
     DUCK!!!!!!

223. When stealing a skiff, MAKE SURE it's the one with the magnetic thingies
     on the bottom!!!

224. If you are ever in a duel, and you get in a tight spot, grab the nearest
     pipe and blow smoke in their face-----never fails.

225. Learn Ubese, you never know when you might need it!!!!

226. Blasting a prison into a ballistic trajectory as a means of escape is not
     a good idea.  (HSASE)

227. If you get an unwanted phone call, shoot the phone.

228. Never  let  Mr.  GQ smooth borrow your vehicle, especially after he says
     not a scratch.

229. If you build a Death Star and some farm boy blows it up, just build a new
     one!!!!!!!

230. If  you  see  a  small blue elephant at a party, you haven't necessarily
     drunk too much.

231. Watch out for stormtroopers that are a little short.

232. Your Tauntaun'll freeze before you reach the first marker.

233. ...But if so, then I'll see you in hell!

234. The  middle of a raging battle for the fate of the galaxy is no time for
     heroics.

235. A  ill-trained,  uncoordinated,  rabble  with obselete ships and weapons
     (Rebels) would always beat well equipped, superbly trained and numerically
     superior forces(Empire) :)

236. Boys  from  backwater  farming  planets  are  better shots then Imperial
     stormtroopers.

237. When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not.

238. When in doubt, go in full throttle.

239. Beware  those  heart-to-heart  talks  with Dad.  One of you might end up
     losing an appendage.

240. When sending troops out to a jungle world, MAKE SURE they are all wearing
     black and white, so nobody can see them.

241. Adventure, excitement, a Jedi craves not these things!

242. Try  not to look to the future, keep your mind on where you are and what
     you are doing.

243. Don't  ever  give  any  lip to an old man who has yellow eyes and shoots
     lightning out of his own body.

244. Never  say  to  someone, "where are you taking this---THING---?" b/c the
     next thing you know, you're flying across the room.

245. Stay on target!!!!

246. Keep  your  distance,  but  don't  LOOK  like you're trying to keep your
     distance.  (In other words, fly casual.)

247. When  purchasing a protocol droid, remember, at some point some assembly
     may be required.

248. When based on an ice planet, don't turn on the thermal heaters.

249. "Never travel the Jundland Wastes lightly."

250. "Never  stand  at  the  edge of a step when an R2 unit turns on its holo
     projector."

251. "Never  be next to Han Solo when you are trapped in a garbage compactor,
     cockpit of the MF while in a space slug, or when shot at the back entrance
     of a shield control center."

252. "Never  listen  to  your  squad  commander when he tells you to 'stay on
     target' and Darth vader is chasing you in a TIE fighter."

253. "It is a good idea to have a wing man named 'Janson'."

254. "If  you  are a droid, be sure to have you deactivator put on your front
     side, not behind your neck."

255. "Always follow the advice of an aide with long sideburns."

256. If  you only knew the power of the dark side, you would not have been in
     this ridiculous position!

257. Make sure your first catch of the day isn't backed up by a really big ion
     cannon.

258. Don't be thinking about your sister during a big fight with Dad.

259. The  galaxy is ruled by GONK (or, at least rec.arts.sf.starwars is ruled
     by GONK).

260. Make  sure  your  rocket pack isn't set to go off at the slightest touch
     before leaping into battle.

261. When  you're  with  a woman you like, never get too obnoxious, or she'll
     French the next nearest guy (even if it's her brother).

262. No  matter  how cool a guy's helmet looks, push him off a high place and
     he'll scream like a girl.

263. "Travel through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops."

264. Bury your feelings deep.  (They do you credit, but they could be made to
     serve the Emperor.)

265. Your insight serves you well.

266. Try to keep a little optimism--especially if you're endangering a mission
     that you shouldn't have come on.

267. Just "hold on" when your pilot tells you to.  (Dak didn't hold on.  Look
     what happened to him!)

268. Remember, your strength *flows* from the Force.

269. Once  you  start  down  the  Dark  Path,  forever  will it dominate your
     destiny.

270. You can't escape your destiny.

271. If  you  buy  equipment out of the back of a guy's vehicle, chances are,
     someone will come looking for it.

272. If  you  buy  stolen  equipment,  make  damn  sure it can't be traced to
     you.

273. Cool costume + Bare minimum of screen time = Eternal popularity

274. The  only thing worse than working for a Hutt crimelord is working for a
     Dark Lord of the Sith.

275. When rescuing a princess, insist on payment in advance.

276. When chasing X-wings down trenches, look behind you in case their friends
     help them.

277. When a Wookiee says he smells something scary, believe him.

278. Fly only ships that have harpoon cable shooters in the front. (ESB)

279. Be sure your ship uses "quick release" seat belts. (ESB)

280. Fly only X-wings that float in case you land in a swamp. (ESB)

281. Do your explaining BEFORE you remove the handcuffs off of a Wookiee. (ESB)

282. Fly your speeder bike ABOVE the trees in a forest. (ROTJ)

283. Leave the spying to Bothans. (ROTJ)

284. Old Jedi never die, they just fade away.

285. Never scream when a friend evaporates, and you're trying to secretly make
     it back to a smugglers ship.

286. Many  of  the  truths  we  cling  to  depend greatly on our own point of
     view.

287. You must do what you feel is right.

288. Watch that crossfire, boys!!!

289. Always get them to put their hands ON the table . . . .

290. Go  to  the  escape  shuttle  when  told  that "The attack plan has been
     analysed, and there is a risk".

291. Make  sure  the asteroid is entirely stable before you land your ship on
     it.

292. Do not _ever_ be late with payments!

293. Smuggling compartments can also be great sub-lets.

294. You cant estimate anything that deals with the Force.

295. Do or do not... there is no try.

296. Patience... you must have Patience!

297. Don't question the ability of rocks and sticks to kill with.

298. Sometimes you don't have to say "I love you".

299. Nothing can happen without a Bothan spy dying.

300. It's never your fault

301. Never underestimate the power of the dark side.

302. These ARE the droids you are looking for, you idiots!

303. If  you ever fall into a murky swamp with strange things swimming in it,
     make sure you're made of metal.

304. When you're kissing the princess, lock the door.

305. Sandpeople  always  ride single file to hide their numbers, and they are
     rather inaccurate with blasters.

306. Remember   to   keep   the  lead  actress's  character  and  real  name
     straight!!

307. You  must  feel  the  Force  flowing  through  you.   Let  go  of  your
     feelings.

308. Try no to park you Chariot LAV under a stone structure that can be
     toppled by a lightsaber (HTTE)

309. When  attemptng  to  launch  a  rock by twirling it over your head, then
     releasing  it,  be  sure  you  know  how to do it right (note to Wicket in
     ROTJ).

310. Those  robot  mice are pests.  Trap them in mousetraps and save yourself
     the hassle.  Bits and bytes make good bait.

311. Even if the Old Man does tell you to leave his throne room, it's usually
     a  good  idea  to stick around, out of sight:  you never know when someone
     will throw him down a large shaft.  (note to Royal Guards)

312. Don't try storming an Imperial base unless all of the troopers have been
     accounted for.

313. Stay away from crazy old hermits.

314. Don't  argue  with your friends when they tell you to get into an escape
     pod.

315. Don't  use  targeting  computers; rely on the voice of an old man inside
     your head.

316. When fighting a Corellian, 10 to 1 odds aren't in your favour (ANH).

317. When your protocol droid tries to tell you there is something wrong with
     your YT-1300 freighter, listen to them.

318. If all else fails, drive headlong into an asteroid field.

319. When  your  shield generator is hit, intensify forward shields a.s.a.p.:
     you never know when a ship may crash into your bridge.

320. Get on board the Executor if possible.  Chances are Lord Vader will choke
     your superior to death and give you the job.

321. Never call bounty hunters scum when they're within earshot.

322. A  protocol  droid  who  say's he's not much of a storyteller is a liar.
     (remember C-3PO in ANH when he's in the oil bath, then in the Ewok village
     in ROTJ)

323. Make sexually tilted lines whenever possible.  "Look at the size of that
     thing!"

324. Adjoinder to #324: Cut the chatter, Red Two.

325. Humans roasted over an open fire make for great feasts.

326. Thermal  detonators make bargaining so much easier; you usually get what
     you want.  (Never argue with some one who's holding a thermal detonator!)

327. The force can have a strong influence on the weak minded.

328. When someone tells you that you look good enough to pull the ears off the
     gundark, your sister will kiss you with tongue shortly thereafter!!!!!!

329. When  two  real  scary guys in a bar (who look like they fell out of the
     ugly  tree  and hit EVERY branch on the way down) tell you they don't like
     you, RUN!!!!!!!

330. Wampas blend in really, really well with snow.

331. You  should always listen to a Jedi master when they tell you something;
     they probably know what they are talking about.

332. Corollary to above--Even Jedi can make mistakes sometimes.

333. It  is impossible for a computer to hit a target that is only two meters
     wide.

                     and finally the most important ones....

we all wish we could have lived "A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away."

Never underestimate the power of a Star Wars fan...

finally.... The Force is always with me

               This thread begun by: Ranna-Marie Lanagan

Contributors so far:
Markku  Herd,  Christopher Craig, Joe Schulte, Simon H.  Lee, Geoff B.  Kerman,
Jeanne,     [e-mail],     Ken     Reeves,     Brandon    VandeBrake,
[e-mail],  Collin Yeoh, Gallus, Sarlaac, John Marciante, Jill
Sauder,  Alice Hadden, Michael Crawford, Jason Andrew Oliver, Glittrstim, Marco
C.    van   Bruggen,  [e-mail],  ARREOLA,  Danielle  Baillie,
Jonathan Brent White, Andrew Phillip Frits, Joshua Nelson, Dany Burigana, Sarah
Biery,  Jill  Sauder,  [e-mail],  Ian Mladjov, Matthew{Frank}Burns, Bill
Synnamon,  Deepan  Majmudar,  shane sebunia, Fred.  Maske, Jonathan M Schenker,
Jeremy  'MacMan' Morris, Fredrik Arnerup, Uliq Qel-Droma, William D Schulz, Art
Salazar,  Jaina,  Jason  A.   Cormier,  Bronwen  Krimmel, Pamela Drake, Leah J.
Dicker,  Mark  Burbidge,  Samuel  Johnston,  Elizabeth  Payne,  Paula Jantunen,
Gregory Chew, Monarch, Sam Shumka, R.  Andy Baker

END
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